Most Likable? Fine by Me.

In high school, I was voted Most Likable. Not Most Athletic. Not Most Likely to Succeed. Just … likable. 

At the time, it felt a little soft. Turns out, it may be the single most transferable skill in New York real estate. If this industry handed out yearbook awards, I’d like to think I’d be in the running again. Or at least that’s how I try to conduct myself. As if one day there will be a vote. 

Because here’s the truth: Agents like doing deals with agents they like. 

That may sound obvious, but it’s one of the least understood realities of the business. We celebrate the “sharks” and the tough negotiators. And, sure, there’s a time and place for that. But I think likability is one of the most overlooked competitive advantages an agent can have. 

My therapist would probably say my self-worth shouldn’t depend on whether people like me. She’s absolutely right. My net worth, on the other hand, is partially contingent on it. 

Buyers and sellers think they’re hiring market knowledge, negotiation skills, marketing expertise or access to inventory. They’re hiring those things, but they’re also hiring something less tangible: an agent’s reputation. 

In New York real estate, your reputation becomes an essential part of the product. Roughly 90 percent of transactions are co-brokered. That means two agents, often with competing priorities and very different personalities, have to work together for months to get a deal across the finish line. Terms need to be negotiated. Problems need to be solved. Emotions need to be managed. When trust breaks down, deals have a way of breaking down, too. 

And trust is built through communication. Transparency. Answering calls. Returning calls. Keeping people informed. Having difficult conversations immediately instead of avoiding them. In a business where dozens of moving parts can derail a transaction, responsiveness is essential. 

That trust becomes even more valuable when you zoom out. Real estate in New York is like an iceberg. What you see on StreetEasy is only the visible portion. Beneath the surface are the off-markets, coming-soons, and “maybe we’d sell if the number was right” conversations. Access to this inventory is granted through relationships. 

Knowing which agents specialize in certain neighborhoods, buildings or price points is valuable. Having those agents trust you enough to pick up the phone and share information can be invaluable. 

The older I get, the more I realize how shockingly small this industry is. The same names appear over and over again. Agents develop reputations quickly, and those reputations tend to stick. 

A few years ago, I represented a seller in a multiple-offer situation. We called for highest and best, and two offers rose to the top. On paper, they were nearly identical. Strong buyers. Strong financials. No contingencies.

One offer came in slightly higher, but the buyer’s agent was a nightmare. 

He had a reputation for being combative, arrogant and difficult. After submitting the offer, he texted me: “My buyer is overqualified, so your seller would be stupid not to accept it. This offer expires in 12 hours.” 

What a charmer. 

The competing offer was slightly lower, but it was represented by an agent I knew and respected. She was professional, thoughtful and collaborative. After submitting the offer, she called to walk me through her client’s financials and motivation, and explain why this was truly their highest and best. Zero ego. All about the deal. 

The difference in price wasn’t life-changing for my seller. The difference in the people we’d be spending the next several months working with absolutely was. 

So I recommended the lower offer. I liked the agent more, yes, but, more importantly, I trusted her. I trusted her to communicate. I trusted her to solve problems. Most of all, I trusted her to help get the deal closed. 

My seller agreed. 

The transaction went smoothly. The buyer was thrilled. The seller was thrilled. And I’d do another deal with that agent tomorrow. 

That’s something consumers don’t always realize. The highest offer isn’t necessarily the strongest offer. The strongest offer is often the one with the highest probability of actually making it to the closing table. 

There was a time when this industry rewarded gatekeepers, assholes and larger-than-life egos. Some of those people still reign at the top. But the industry is changing. I can see it on the ground. 

Today’s market increasingly rewards collaboration and emotional intelligence. Information travels faster, and consumers have more access than ever before. The agents who create value are often the ones who can bring people together, use their relationships to open doors, and make deals happen. 

Looking back, “Most Likable” felt like a consolation prize. I wanted “Most Likely to Succeed.”

Turns out they may have been the same thing. Because, in New York real estate, your reputation enters the room before you do, and whether people trust that reputation can determine everything that follows.

Mike Fabbri is a residential real estate agent and founder of the Mike Fabbri Team at The Agency.